Monday, 5 December 2016

Ext practise writing test

Here is my practise writing test I did in extension. I worked on my story then shared it with my buddy to check and edit so the words highlighted in blue are the edit's my friend Lucy made. She also shared her work with me and I helped edit it too. My planning is also down below along with my story.



- kidnaped by clown

Things that I changed
                                        Dad’s gone wild

“Daaaad come on I have to go to school!”moaned Rosie. “Hold on Rosie I’m just feeding the chickens” replied her Dad. Rosie and her Dad James both lived on a farm far from her school and being an only child she got lonely sometimes. They had finally arrived at school where she met tons of girls gossiping about the killer clowns. “Good thing their only in the countryside” she heard one girl saying. Rosie was curious but knew she had to stay focused on her school work.

Her dad came to pick her up after school and she noticed he was acting a bit strange. When they got home he told her to do some homework (Rosie didn’t really like doing homework.)  So with a angry look on her face she walked over to her room and started reading she got a bit bored after a while so she thought she would go and play in the massive field they owned on the farm.

She walked into the paddock of horses and saw a mysterious man standing behind a tree. Rosie froze in shock she didn’t know what to do, she slowly walked back to her house and right then that man started chasing her! While running in fear she turned around and noticed that he was wearing a mask and looked like a clown (She didn’t like clowns). She Yelled out for her dad but no one replied. She ran into her house and called out again but still no reply. She got her phone and ran into her room. She locked her door and dialled the police but...... she didn’t have any credit. She then went online to see if she could post about and get help but.... there was no Wifi either. She sat in her room in fear while the clown tried to break in.

“Come on don’t be scared” replied a voice coming outside her door. But Rosie was scared she thought she was gonna die and then BANG! The door opened Rosie started crying but then the scary clown took of his mask and Rosie saw that it was just her dad and Rosie started laughing and so did her dad. “Are you alright Rosie?” asked her dad “Yeah but you gave me a big fright I thought I was gonna die” Rosie's dad James heard about the killer clowns and thought that he might scare Rosie just as a prank. Rosie found it kind of funny but still hates clowns.

By Ariana

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